A collection of one-liners
A hip young man went and bought the best car available: a 2000 Ferrari GTO.
Hard to believe, however, all of these stories are real:
A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do dogs & cats come from?"
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin & orders three pints of Guinness
Interesting theory... Giving More Than 100%!
A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.
Rodney passed away in 2004. He started most of his comedy routine one-liners with the words:”I don’t get any respect”, then, we would hear a string of one-liners, in rapid fire fashion (often with rim shots) which would have most people rolling with laughter. These are just a small sample and tribute offered with respect.
You would think they would proof read & catch some of these (real product instruction) before the products went on the shelf.
This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board. This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure...... )
The following signs have been found in various locations throughout the world --- using the English language somewhat creatively...
An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a cleaner. The manager there arranges for an aptitude test (Section: Floors, sweeping and cleaning).
A Human Resource Director was tragically hit by a bus and she died.
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer Brewers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:
Continue reading "WARNING - If only this is all that happened..." »
These were taken from classified ads in a variety of September, 1999 newspapers: (ENJOY)
An actual letter sent to a Bank in the United States. The Bank Manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times.
TOP 20 SIGNS THAT YOU'VE ALREADY GROWN UP
The following helpful guide has been prepared to help employees better understand their paychecks:
Corny but funny.
Take heart, anyone among you who believes you are the most technologically challenged, you "ain't seen nuthin' yet." (alternate title: “The more things change - The more they stay the same.”)
Continue reading "SO YOU THINK YOU ARE TECHNICALLY CHALLENGED?" »
Beware of this problem, it's out there.
A fun twist on notations and terminolgy for those with a musical flair.
This is not the best way to design software, but it seems to be a very common method. (unfortunately)
PLEASE STAY ALERT and EXERCISE EXTREME CAUTION! Because they walk among us ... and they REPRODUCE!!!
Some new vocabulary you will definitely want to know.
Just in case you are asked why you like being retired!
These are some really good Rules for the Game of living.
Learn and Enjoy !!!!!
There is no doubt that we have all said out loud (or to ourselves) some the following quotes. Well -- Now you will know the author's name.
There may also be a few new zingers here which you haven't heard before. (HINT - You might like to have them available – just in case.)
These are very important things to remember !!!
This is an abreviated set of some of the better known Business Rules for the Game. It is amazing how often they will apply to nearly every kind of business situation..
Should children witness childbirth? Good question!
Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-Decker bus for a weekend trip to Louisiana.
Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-Decker bus for a weekend trip to Louisiana.
Dear Wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this.? For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...
Continue reading "A modern - Who's on First? - Abbott & Costello Updated with 'COMPUTERS' " »
Art Linkletter was right --- Kids do say the darndest things.
Looks like we have a new spin on an old familiar theme !
This page contains an archive of all entries posted to Rules for the Game in the Rules 4 Funny category. They are listed from oldest to newest.
Rules 4 Blondes is the previous category.
Rules 4 Know It Alls is the next category.
Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.