Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer Brewers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are actually laughing WITH you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
Thanks to Kimberly K. - who sent this to me via email (by the way - Kimberly became pregnant with her first child about 6 months after sending it - I didn't think it would be wise to ask if she had recently had a large number of beers.
Comments (1)
This is found very funny.
And true for a great many 18-23 year olds, as well as many who are older (or younger) who are still trying to be 18-23.
This was my favorite...
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
Posted by Jonathan | May 5, 2007 1:56 AM
Posted on May 5, 2007 01:56