Rules for the Gametag:,2010:/22010-03-29T20:41:03ZThis site reflects Rules for the Game of Living. It contains a collection of over 30 years worth of articles, pictures, diagrams, jokes and other materials reflecting the humor and pragmatic realities of humans living out life. Some entries are funny, others sad and a few are just "strange". New ones are always being found, created and are welcomed for consideration to be included here. (Just submit by "Posting a Comment" to any existing entry). The common theme, or criteria, is that all entries need to contain a perspective, an aspect of, or, an insight into the realities of human beings, nature, and life in general. (The basic qualification for an item to be added to this site is that is there is at least a little bit of pragmatic TRUTH contained within it.)
THANK YOU for visiting RULES FOR THE GAME and ENJOY! (Note: You can also group 'Rules' entries by types and themes by clicking on a word in "Tags" or on one of the "Categories". This capability is available at the 'main index page' - just select the related 'link', located at the bottom of each indivdual entry page.) Movable Type 3.33THIS IS SO TRUE!!!tag:www.rulesforthegame.com,2010://2.1402010-03-29T20:36:30Z2010-03-29T20:41:03ZForgetter Be Forgotten?...SolarGuyhttp://www.thesolarplan.com
Forgetter Be Forgotten?
My forgetter's getting better,
But my rememberer is broke
To you that may seem funny
But, to me, that is no joke
For when I'm 'here' I'm wondering
If I really should be 'there'
And, when I try to think it through,
I haven't got a prayer!
Oft times I walk into a room,
Say "What am I here for?'
I wrack my brain, but all in vain!
A zero, is my score.
At times I put something away
Where it is safe, but, Gee!
The person it is safest from
Is, generally, me!
When shopping I may see someone,
Say 'Hi'' and have a chat,
Then, when the person walks away
I ask myself, "Who the hell was that?'
Yes, my forgetter's getting better
While my rememberer is broke,
And it's driving me plumb crazy
And that isn't any joke.
CAN YOU RELATE???
Please send this to everyone you know
because
I DON'T REMEMBER - WHO I sent this TO!
On the Lighter Sidetag:www.rulesforthegame.com,2010://2.1392010-03-20T16:45:18Z2010-03-20T17:00:16ZA few bits of wisdom (& a couple of funnys)...SolarGuyhttp://www.thesolarplan.com
A few bits of wisdom (& a couple of funnys)
The squeaky wheel doesn't always get the grease, sometimes it just gets replaced.
Don't try to always have the last word, you might just get it.
A good slogan can stop analysis, and forward progress, for fifty years.
If we learn by our mistakes, some of us are getting one great eduacation.
It is incredible how much intelligence is used in this world to prove nonsense.
Four-wheel drive just means getting stuck in more inaccessible places.
------- Funnys ---------
- What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur? Jurassic Pork.
- Why was there thunder and lightening in the lab? The scientists were brainstorming.
SUPERIOR JOB APPLICATION! - THE HOW TO OF APPLICATION ETIQUETTEtag:www.rulesforthegame.com,2010://2.1372010-02-22T02:19:17Z2010-02-22T02:29:37ZThis is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida........and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!...SolarGuyhttp://www.thesolarplan.com
This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida........and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I were in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target of middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS? 50 lbs. of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR? I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION? I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE? On the job, NO. On my breaks, YES.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE? Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
Subject: Quotes Departmenttag:www.rulesforthegame.com,2010://2.1342010-02-11T20:13:03Z2010-02-11T20:17:18ZSome of these may be a repeat, but they are cute. (NOTE: For the younger readers - most of the people who made this quotes have passed on)...SolarGuyhttp://www.thesolarplan.com
Some of these may be a repeat, but they are cute. (NOTE: For the younger readers - most of the people who made this quotes have passed on)
“Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.”
--- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
“I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.”
---- Eleanor Roosevelt
“Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement”
--- Mark Twain
“The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible”
---George Burns
“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.”
---Victor Borge
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”
---Mark Twain
“By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.”
--- Socrates
“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
--- Groucho Marx
“My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.”
--- Jimmy Durante
“I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.”
--- Zsa Zsa Gabor
“Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.”
--- Alex Levine
“My luck is so bad that if, I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.”
--- Rodney Dangerfield
“Money can't buy you happiness ... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery."
--- Spike Milligan
“Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP”
--- Joe Namath
“I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.”
--- Bob Hope
“I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.”
--- W. C. Fields
“We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress”
--- Will Rogers
“Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.”
--- Winston Churchill
“Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty...But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.”
---Phyllis Diller
“By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.”
--- Billy Crystal
And finally
The cardiologist's diet: “If it tastes good - spit it out!”
Start the New Year with some good Catholic Giggles....tag:www.rulesforthegame.com,2010://2.1302010-01-07T17:31:53Z2010-01-07T17:36:36ZDear All: This information is definitely for those who know!...SolarGuyhttp://www.thesolarplan.com
Dear All: This information is definitely for those who know!
AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.
CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync.
HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.
HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.
INCENSE: Holy Smoke!
JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams.
JONAH: The original 'Jaws' story.
JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own
KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize, besides gyros and baklava. (For you non-Catholics it means ‘Lord have mercy’)
MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.
MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn’t covered by an HMO. (The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.)
PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.
PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.
RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.
RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.
RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.
TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.
USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.
Also ----- Here is a little known fact about the Catholic Church in Las Vegas:
- There are more churches in Las Vegas than casinos.
During Sunday services at the offertory, some worshippers contribute casino chips as opposed to cash. Some are sharing their winnings - some are hoping to win. Since there are chips from so many different casinos, and those chips are worth money, the Catholic churches are required to send all the chips into the diocese for sorting. Once sorted into the respective casino chips, one junior priest takes the chips and makes the rounds to the casinos to turn those chips into cash.
And that priest,
of course,
is known as,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
……(Wait for it)……
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The Chip Monk
Over the Hill 2 - 11 more short perspectivestag:www.rulesforthegame.com,2009://2.1282009-12-11T23:44:29Z2009-12-11T23:50:32ZDid you ever notice??...SolarGuyhttp://www.thesolarplan.com
Did you ever notice??
Lord, please keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth...AMEN]]>
Random Thoughtstag:www.rulesforthegame.com,2009://2.1272009-12-04T03:30:21Z2009-12-04T03:34:42Z- 20 little bits of wisdom for consideration...SolarGuyhttp://www.thesolarplan.com
- 20 little bits of wisdom for consideration
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5 I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes - to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this thing I have-- ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet, on any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with Bud Light than with a Kay jewelry product.
Here is my concern (being a male of the species)tag:www.rulesforthegame.com,2009://2.1262009-11-12T23:35:17Z2009-11-12T23:51:05Z3 years ago, It was the...SolarGuyhttp://www.thesolarplan.com
3 years ago, It was the
Is anybody else worried?
]]>
Crazy Love tag:www.rulesforthegame.com,2009://2.1212009-07-24T22:19:38Z2009-07-24T22:38:46ZJust because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have....SolarGuyhttp://www.thesolarplan.com
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
Ralph and Enda were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end, sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged form the hospital, as she now considered Edna to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news, she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news for you. The good news is, you are being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he is dead.'
Edna replied; 'He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'
Happy Mental Health Day!
HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE! *** EASTER BUNNY UPDATE ***tag:www.rulesforthegame.com,2009://2.1202009-04-14T15:09:31Z2009-04-14T15:17:54ZA man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car....SolarGuyhttp://www.thesolarplan.com
A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road.
He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.
:>}]]>
THE USA GOVERNMENT and A DEAD HORSE!!!tag:www.rulesforthegame.com,2009://2.1182009-01-15T15:08:18Z2009-01-15T15:31:44ZUnfortunately, this one is a little truer than not - sometimes . . . . . Dakota tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in the United...SolarGuyhttp://www.thesolarplan.com
Unfortunately, this one is a little truer than not - sometimes . . . . . Dakota tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in the United States government - - - - -
it seems that way too many other strategies are used to revive or keep "dead horse" programs and pork barrel funding initiatives alive, including the following:
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Saying things like "This is the way we always have ridden this horse."
4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5. Arranging to visit other government sites to see how they ride dead horses.
6. Increasing the standards to ride dead horses.
7. Appointing a tiger team to revive the dead horse.
8. Creating a training session to increase dead horse riding ability.
9. Comparing the state of dead horses in today's environment.
10. Changing the requirements and regulations to declare that "This horse is not dead."
11. Hiring contractors to ride the dead horse.
12. Harnessing several dead horses together for increased speed.
13. Declaring that "No horse is too dead to beat."
14. Providing additional funding to increase the horse's performance.
15. Doing an A-76 (competitive sourcing) study to see if contractors or another government agency can ride it cheaper.
16. Purchasing a product to make dead horses run faster.
17. Declaring the horse is "better, faster and cheaper" dead.
18. Forming a quality circle to find uses for dead horses.
19. Revisiting (and then revising) the original performance requirements for horses.
20. Saying this particular horse was procured with cost as an independent, non-significant variable.
---- and ---- if all else fails -----
21. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.
NEW STOCK MARKET TERMStag:www.rulesforthegame.com,2008://2.1172008-11-05T23:22:57Z2008-11-05T23:33:01ZLooks like we have a new spin on an old familiar theme !...SolarGuyhttp://www.thesolarplan.com
Looks like we have a new spin on an old familiar theme !
CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST-- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
****** and last, but certainly not the least ******
PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
Why we love children...tag:www.rulesforthegame.com,2008://2.1152008-07-09T20:28:50Z2008-07-09T20:32:20ZArt Linkletter was right --- Kids do say the darndest things....SolarGuyhttp://www.thesolarplan.com
Art Linkletter was right --- Kids do say the darndest things.
1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'
2) OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'
3) KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'
4) MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'
5 ) POLICE # 1 While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'
6) POLICE # 2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked. 'It sure is,' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What 'd he do?'
7) ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
8) DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.' 'And why not, darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'
9) DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)
10) SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'
11) BIBLE A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'
A modern - Who's on First? - Abbott & Costello Updated with 'COMPUTERS' tag:www.rulesforthegame.com,2008://2.1132008-07-03T20:27:31Z2008-07-03T20:33:56ZYou have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this.? For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on......SolarGuyhttp://www.thesolarplan.com
You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this.? For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...
Who's on First? might have turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
CO STELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business.? What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal.? What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue W.
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue w if you don't start with some straight answers.? What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
+++++++ (A few days later) +++++++
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer OFF?
ABBOTT: Click on START.............
]]>
Best Divorce Letter Ever tag:www.rulesforthegame.com,2008://2.1122008-06-27T14:48:08Z2008-06-27T14:56:32ZDear Wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it....SolarGuyhttp://www.thesolarplan.com
Dear Wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
_____________________________________________________________________________
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica, however, when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.
By the way, my lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.