This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board. This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure...... )
Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form.
I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation, & I trust the following details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over, which, when weighed later, were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out, & loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down & untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form, that I weigh 135lbs.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind & forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions, and the broken collarbone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind, & I was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground, & the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now, devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight..
As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth, and several lacerations of my legs & lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks &, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure & presence of mind, & I let go of the rope--I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
I hope this answers your inquiry.
Kind Regards,
Mike Pashby
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"Now, your day doesn't sound too bad, does it?"